A New Year...

Its been to long , so much has happened since the last time I blogged.
On August 31 a beautiful little boy came in to our lifes , Joshua Michael Johnson our first grandchild he is now almost 5 months old...time sure does fly.
He is already sitting up rolling over and trying very hard to be in on every conversation around him , if only we could understand what he is talking about...lol.
This boy is Amazing , a little old man in a babies body, with a very old Soul , smart as a whip and ready to take on the world.

He loves books and sits quietly when being read to and this has been going on for months and I pray it will continue for many many moons to come.
My daughter AmyRose is doing a great job as a mom and I am very proud of her for wanting to be a stay at home mom , I feel it will make a big difference in Joshua's growth..I can see it already.
Meanwhile , winter has set in and I am home more than I care to be , feeding the wood stove and pellet stove as my hubby puts it , its my job to keep the home fire's burning.
So I do just that also been busy beading and learning Kumihimo which is braiding technique from Japan.

I finished my first peice this past week...Trying to learn this with smaller threads while adding seed beads is not an easy task for me with my right hand but I am dedermed to get the hang of it one way or another.
The Holidays have come and gone , Christmas was very different for us this year...my mom was just to weak to bring her here 2 days in a row , so we just brought her here for Christmas Eve Day and had the kids open their gifts then so she could see them , after we all went to church as a family , something we've not done in years , it was the best gift we could have given my mom.
Christmas day was spent at the nursing home and visiting with our son Michael and his family which was a big change for Mike and I because we always hosted the holidays at our home.
So much to do before SPRING here in the house but can't seem to get Mike in the mood to do it , that could be due to the fact he is working 50 plus hours a week and getting old as he puts it.
We are talking about going away for my 50th birthday in May to Foxwoods someplace my Dad Loved gambling was Dads passion , not really mine but something I've always wanted to do , just hope I don't get the gambling bug because it does tend to run in the family...lol
I've circled all the seeds I want in the seed catalogs and pretty much mapped out what I'd like for a veggie garden this year , it will be a breeze to grow our own veggies this year , with the Greenhouse Mike got me last season , the plan is to buy a small gas heater before march , so I can grow everything out there instead of my dinningroom...lol
Its only January but I am already dying to feel the warm soil and sun , guess I better get back to beading/kumihimo to keep my mind and hands busy...lol
Heres hoping we all have a Healthy ,Wealthy 2012 my out look for this up and coming year is to stay as Positive as possible and to get involved with Family Council up at the nursing home my mom is in as well as continue to work on keeping the Sanbornville United Methodist Church clean and in tip top shape.

Dream come true...

Its been a while since I've Blogged , guess i've just been to busy.
Spring is always busy getting things ready for the garden and such but this year has been more so.
Mike suprized me with my own Greenhouse , something i have dream about for years.
Today is July 18th and I managed to sell all my veggie plants and have decided to draw up a small business plan to go before town in hopes of making this hobby an home base busines by the end of this year.

My Garden is looking well concidering it was planted 3 weeks later then i usually do.
I've been staying busy garden wise and have also started another journey in my life , on May 30th i turned 49 and made a promise to myself to lose all this weight i've been carrying around with me for years , my goal is to drop 80 pounds by my 50th birthday.
It took me till july 7th to commit to this promise to myself but so far so good.
On July 7th I started weight watchers with my very good friend Sharon who in my eyes does not need to lose weight but i know in my heart she joined to suport me , now thats a true friend.
We have been taking long walks together a few times a week and helping each other learn the new points system and actually having fun with it along the way , i've not laughed and smiled this much in years and i pray i can continue to lose and get healthy the rest of my life.
Tomorrow tuesday july 19th , mike and i will be joining our daughter AmyRose and her mate Matt to watch the ultrasound of our first grandchild together.
Joshua is due in less than 8 weeks and i can't wait to hold him in my arms , its hard to believe i am going to be a grandmother.
Life is good and i am still trying to live it one day at a time.

Easter Eggs

I had the pleasure of having my great neice and nephew up for the day on monday.
We colored Easter Eggs and also fill plastic eggs with treats and coins for the kids to hunt.

The kids had an AWESOME time , we also spent time with my daughter AmyRose and her half sister Sara.
My Mom was here as well , its been a long winter for everyone.  Tho it was chilly out side it was still nice to be out in the fresh air with no snow on the ground.
We ended the day with our first BQ of the season joined by my son Michael and his girlfriend and children.

Sara took a ride for the first time ever on our neighbors 4 wheeler.
Spring is finally here but the air is still a bit nippy for the 3rd week of April.
I've been busy transplanting seedlings and waiting paiently for the end of May early June to get our garden planted.

SPRING?

Sunday the 20th was the first day of SPRING or so they say.
We were covered in a blanket of white 24 hours later and woke up to a winter wonder land.

Hoping Mother Nature gets her act together and stops snowing down on us and starts warming the earth so gardening will be on time.
I like to spend my birthday May 30th in my garden planting veggies but I get the feeling it maybe more like June this year.
In the photo above is my veggie garden area still covered in at least a foot of old snow and now 5 new inches since the first day of SPRING!
By now I usually have my veggies such as tomatoes and peppers started in doors from seed but I've decided to hold off till April due to Mother Nature playing her games.
But I have started a few flower seeds in doors and they are doing very well.
I've tried to post a photo but for some reason it won't up load.
I guess SPRING weather will come soon enough but I have a hard time waiting around , when I know there is a graden under all that snow just waiting to be tilled and planted.
With food prices going up daily , a garden would help us save alot of money and once its planted I have to stick close to home to care for it , which means I'll be saving on gas money as well.
Looking foward to SUMMER , between planning AmyRoses baby shower and gardening , watching over my mom as well as my job at the church I'll be a busy little bee :)

LOST

Feeling a bit lost today , not quite sure why.
Hormones perhaps...lol
All I know is everything is upsetting me and I am feeling alone in this world.
I dislike when I get this way because I know I have so much in my life I am grateful for but these days still come from time to time and I need to find away to let it go.
Not sure what set it off this time but when I get like this I miss my friends that have crossed over as well as my father but for some reason I miss my children being children , as well.
Sitting with Mike last evening he made a comment that he too misses his children and wishes they still lived at home because he works so close to home now and has good hours vs. when the kids were younger he worked 60 to 80 hours a week and was never home.
Its funny as I write this the song "Cats in the cradle" comes to mind...lol
We all get so busy with our life's and worrying how to make ends meet that we forget to reach out to those we love I guess Mike and I are feeling we could have done so much more as a family with our kids but we were so focused on making ends meet.
Now our kids are faced with that task in their life's and we can only hope we taught them the skills to survive because in this day and age making ends meet is more than a chore its down right impossible at times.

New Life ;)

Today I saw my first grandchild for the first time.
AmyRose had an ultrasound done this morning to determen the due date of hers and Matts baby.
Guess she is not as far along as she thought Sept. 1st the little one is due...its going to be a long summer but worth the wait.
I have plenty of time to figure out just what to buy the little one.
I already started crocheting a blanket not even a week after she told us.
AmyRose walked in and saw it and told me it was just the yarn she had picked out more or less so I guess I did good.
I find myself heading to the baby department every time I go shopping but I convince myself not to buy anything yet because we still not sure of the gender but soon enough I hope.

So many thoughts racing through my head wondering what the little one will be like what color eyes , will the hair be blond like AmyRose as a baby or dark like Matts , either way I know I am going to love being a Grammy.

Monday , Monday!

A very relaxing weekend , cleaned the church Saturday and spend the rest of the weekend hanging out with my Hubby and puppy.
I managed to get my moms filing done and everything ready for the nursing home to finish mothers medicaid application.
Any one who thinks it easy to care for a elderly parent is kidding themselves , I think I have aged 10 years just in the past year of getting mother settled at Mountain View.
Today I'll be a accompanying a friend in court while she tries to get an order to keep her ex. away from her.
This has been going on for months and we are hoping today it will be settled and she can get on with her life.
Snow in the forecast again but then again only 49 days till SPRING so bring it on it will be gone soon enough.
I started mapping out my Veggie Garden this weekend ordered all my seeds and will be growing everything myself again this year.
I have a few friends willing to buy plants from me as well so I will hopefully make back what I have spent already.
Mike bought me 2 small greenhouse and another grow light so things should go better this year but I must say my garden last year was amazing.
Shirley May has been a handful this past week , she took off running more than once and I found her up at the house around the corner waiting to see her boyfriend Venix , he is a red pitbull and he is not quite sure what to make of Shirley May because she is so hyper.
Hoping she calms down before spring , I still say the shelter was wrong they told me she was two years old back in May when I adopted her but she has grown so much and still is so puppy like.
Love her any ways she has come a long way these past months.
When she first came to us she would not leave the yard now she wants to be walked 24/7 at least she is keeping me moving so hopefully I won't get as we all call it winter weight , lord knows I have enough of that I have been trying to lose...lol
I am feeling much better these days and learning to let go of alot but I still have my moments but don't we all?

Well its getting late off to walk the puppy and begin my Monday!

Letting Go.

Have you ever given your all and not left enough for yourself?
I recently found I had and now I am realizing I am at a point in my life where I need to walk away from a certain family member and so called friend.
My telling this member and friend I have given my all and don't feel I could help any more, ended up in my words being twisted by them like a mangled piece of scrap medal and left me feeling so drained of my spirit.
I turned to a friend who shared a book with me.
I have spent the last 3 days reading a book titled "The Language of Letting Go" by: Melody Beattie.
This book has helped me realize I can say no to family and friends with out feeling guilt!
I can walk away from those who manipulate even if they are in their eyes in need of my help.
In my eyes they are in need of learning to help themselves as I am in need of learning not to be their victim.
I've sat back and taken a good long look at my life and realized in reaching out to help certain people I have left no energy to help myself.
So today is a new day a new chapter in Sparrows life , today I have learned to let go and let the universe take the controls and hopefully steer me away from the negativity in my life and open me up to nothing but POSITIVE!

Snow Day!

Well here I sit watching the snow falling outside.
Question of the day on our local news was Heatwave or Snow Storm?
Sorry folks but I'll take the heatwave.
We are due for 12 inches of snow and I've already been cooped up since Sunday with one hell of a cold/flu.
My body feels like a train wreck but slowly starting to breathe through my nose again , Thank God.
Shirley May is not a happy camper because we've not gone for a long walk in days.
She goes out on her runner but sits at the door looking in as if to say , mom get you butt out here and walk me!
Guess sister Lisa is all settled in her new place but still managed to call me upset because of something that's gone wrong in her life , me I am just grateful to wake up each day but others seem to let every little thing get to them.
My modo , deep breath , hot bubble bath and or tension tamer tea.
Sister Diane's life partner Carly is having to start Chemo again next week , now there is one strong human being.
Carly amazes me with all she has been through these past years she is like the ever ready bunny.
Takes a Lickin' and keeps on Tickin'
I Love them both so much the strength both sister Diane and Carly have is a gift , I hope grows stronger in the months a head.
My thoughts and prayers are with them both.
Mother is doing well these days tho I must admit I've not seen her since Jan 2nd due to the fact I have been feeling so yucky and I don't want to bring it to her.
But we chat on the phone a few times a day and other than the usual complaints of her ever day life , she seems to be hanging in there.
Mike so far has not got my cold and I pray he does not , he has been working so hard as he always does but it seems lately every one is in need of his help and he can't say no.
So on top of his 40 plus hours a week,he has been working at the loggers as well, which paids for our fire wood to keep the house warm.
He looks so tired at night but still manages to take over feeding the wood stove so I can get dinner.
He is a good man and I thank God every day for him :)

Feeling Good!

Well here we are 5 days in to a new year and things are going well.
Mike and I brought everything we gathered for sister Lisa to her new apartment last evening and also surprised her with a few bags of food to get her started.
I wish her the best in her new life as I said before this world is a rough place to be in and to start over is a big move for her and I pray she can keep her head above water like the rest of us try to do daily.
My mom has been feeling a bit lost these past few days after a sermon that was delivered in her church this past Sunday.
I only hope she can find comfort in knowing God is still there for her know matter what judgement was thrown her way at Sundays service.
People tend to be to judgemental these days and they don't realize words hurt!
I have found myself toying with the idea of going to a new place of worship.
I am not a loyal church goer and I find it hard to sit in a pew and listen to someone judge others as if that someone is GOD himself.
So a friend and neighbor has asked me to come with her to the church she attends and I just may take her up on that offer soon.
Today is a me day , selfish as that may sound I decided I need it to clear my head and just take care of me.
As i sit hear typing a CD tittled "Merlin's Magic the light touch" plays in the back ground and it takes me back to a time in my life when I was at a crossroads and in need of guidance.
I turned to a Life coach named Gary Whitewolf Woodings he taught me how to take care of me letting the past go and live for the day learning to love myself no matter what!
That was over 3 years ago and from time to time I step back and realize just how far I have come in life and it makes me smile because I realize that naive little girl has finally found her way out of that shell I put her in.
May goal this year and for many moons to come is to Live Life One Day at a Time because we never know what tomorrow will bring!

A new year just begun.

Its 1-1-11 a new year and new beginnings.
My daughter AmyRose surprised us 2 evenings ago with the news we were going to be grandparents.
Something I truly felt would never happen.
She is not due till August but I can't explain the excitement I have been feeling these past 2 days.
They are hoping for a boy I'll take a girl or boy who cares as I get to love and spoil it!
My new years promise to myself , live life one day at a time and try my best to win the war I have been having all my life with my weight.
Shirley May has me up and out the door more than ever walking now its just a matter of eating right or should I say eating less.
I am already mapping out my veggie garden and ordering seeds crazy but its a big part of my life , Gardening and it gets me through these long winter months just thinking about it.
I need to finish up the book I am reading and decide which book is next.
My house is back in order from the holidays and I'll be getting rid of more stuff in a few days by helping out my sister Lisa as she is about to relocate and start a new life.
I hope she can get by on her own and I hope she tries to find at least a part time job to make ends meet , its a tough world out there!
Mom is coming for the day tomorrow , church and lunch here then we will take her back to Mountain view , I am hoping my brother comes up to see her but only time will tell.
The weather has been warm these past few days almost SPRING like can't wait to play in the dirt again , I just love watching everything grow and now I can watch my grandchild grow as well.  I can just picture he or she barefoot in the garden with me it will be so awesome to feel that little hand in mine.
Still in awe thinking my baby girl is having a baby of her own.

Christmas seems to never end.

Its seem our family is just so big that Christmas continues threw to the new year.
Today my neice Debra and her children are coming up to visit so we can give them their Christmas gifts.
I am off in a bit to pick my mom up at the nursing home so she too can watch the kids open gifts.
Christmas day was nice , we shared it with our children and their mates as well as a few close friends popping in.
Mike over did it in the gift giving as he always does but its nice to get spoiled once in a while.
It seemed more like Christmas this year because we shared it with my sons new girlfriend Bonnie who has to very well behaved children Maranda and Casey ,on Christmas eve we took them and our friend Anita to church with us and keep the kids here till around 9pm because Bonnie had to work.
It felt more like Christmas with children in the house.
Our plan for New Years Eve , take out and a movie at home just Mike and I.
Hoping to see the rest of my family brother Mike , sister Susi and her hubby some time this weekend.
Plans to meet the newest member of the family Jacob have been cancelled till another day.
Jacob was born on Nov.29th his fathers birthday,Chris is my sister Jens son and Jacobs father.                            Chris was the first baby I even held in my life.
I was a young teen when Chris was born and it will feel strange to be holding Jacob soon.
I guess it will be like holding a grand child something I've not yet had the pleasure of doing but maybe some day.

2010 winding down.

Dec.29th 2010

Another year ending , its not been a bad one but here is hoping 2011 is better.
Brief run down of 2010 my mom was admitted to Mountain view Nursing home on Feb. 26th after a fall at her apartment.
Its been a long 5 years of caring for her , just myself and my spouse Mike.
Sister Diane is always willing to drop what is going on in her life to come help when it gets to be to much.
This time mother decided to admit herself to the nursing home so we had the rough task of cleaning out her apartment which I can also thank sister Susi for 4 days of back breaking work as well as friend/neighbor Diane.
March brought weeks of mind blowing paper work to get mother the help she needed to remain in the nursing home she chose.
Our government does not make it easy!
On the up side my friend Diane and I made a trip into Portland Maine to check out the Flower Show a touch of Spring was just what the doctor ordered.
Unfortunately I was told at the end of march I was not needed back at the Greenhouse I had been working in for 6 years seasonally.
April brought a knew adventure into my live.
I was hired by Sanbornville United Methodist Church as their Janitor, its only a few hours a week but the pay is good and it gave me a purpose again.
Some health issues brought to my attention but nothing to worry about in my eyes.
Getting the feeling its time for me to learn to take care of me because doctors cost way to much and just keep wanting more test run.
May brought me much happiness , Shirley May a 2 year old border collie Mix I fell in Love with at Lakes Region Humane Society in Ossipee NH.
I walked in on May 26th and adopted her on the 27th she has turned out to be a wonderful companion.
The month of May also was the start of a AWESOME vegetable garden I believe this was one of the best years yet in the many years I've been planting.
June brought a few house sitting jobs as well as dog sitting for neighbors.
My live seems to be mellowing as the summer months pass and its time to start thinking about Jewelry making again.
Hobby/money maker for holidays but with this came a bond of friendship with Anita of Anita's Beads in Wakefield.
We all have our moments when we need a friend and fate brought me in to her store when she needed me the most.
After a few months of helping her get back on her feet after a rough break up with a male companion , I believe a true friendship has blossomed and will hopefully continue to bloom.
2010 winding down but the best of my life with my hubby is yet to come.
Our children AmyRose and Michael are adults on their own.                                                           Mike and I are going to dedicate 2011 to us and learn to live Life one day at a time!